VICTIMISED

how i wish i told no one,
for it would still be a secret.
how i wish i did not lift my voice,
to let people know it happened.
now i wish to be left alone,
but no matter how i fret,
nobody seems to notice,
theyperceive it as need.

i feel filthy and dirty,
and many a soap have i used,
but the filth still remains,
much as i scrub my body.
and if i remember,
i vomit in revulsion,
i hate myself,
i wish they would have killed me!

now everywhere i turn,
i see pitiful stares,
and everywhere i pass,
l hear whispers behind,
it makes me feel dirtier,
it drives me nuts!
my door is covered by the press,
and everywhere else is sympathy.

i dont need therapy,
see what it has done!
i dont need a listening ear,
'cause i'm not talking anymore!
i just need support,
and silent understanding,
which even justice,
will not give me.

i was attacked,
yet am not the first.
and many more may suffer,
but we all need the same status,
we had before it all.
we are not victims,
we were victimised!


alex mwango(1984-present day)